Yesterday I was loading my car up with boxes (I'm in the process of moving from my apartment to my mom's basment- more on that later), sweating my ass off in the heat. I have a Honda Element, which allows you to fold the seats up to the sides so that there's a lot of stowing space. I had to climb in to stack some boxes near the front, since I was loading from the back hatch. And of course, some idiot drives by in a little red wannabe sports car (I know who you are, jackass) and catcalls me as I'm bent over boxes, struggling to stack some more. I ignored him with much restraint on my part, since I'm not used to keeping quiet about harassment. A few trips up and down the stairs (I lived on the second floor) later, and there's a man in his mid-forties walking by my car. He looks like a crack addict. He decides it's ok to comment on my ass while I'm putting another box in. This time I get out, look him straight in the eyes and say "Your comments aren't helpful, and you're sexually harassing me. Leave me alone." He takes this opportunity to flip me off and call me a bitch, strutting his skinny flat ass away like he's won something besides his ignorance. I'm twenty five years old and I look like I'm seventeen (seriously, I get carded for rated R movies). This man was old enough to be my dad.
I don't know what it is about some men that makes them think they can sexually harass women who are minding their own business- and yes, catcalling and talking about a stranger's ass is sexual harassment (check out this awesome blog and project about fighting street harassment called 'Hollaback':http://www.ihollaback.org/). It's all about objectification of women, and that false sense of male entitlement to women's bodies. Women are sexualized to the point where we've become nothing but sexual property in many regards, a means to status and a symbol of a man's power. Think of trophy wives and how many powerful men both date supermodels and cheat on their wives. Men are also taught that they have a right to sex and a woman's body, though not every man gives in to that lie. Look at rape statistics, and all the bullshit rape-apologists and 'excuses' about why he did it. Rape is never about sex but power- and look at the overwhelming statistics of male rapists and female survivors.
So, the twenty-something neighbor of mine that will go to his car one morning to find an angry note on it was asserting his entitlement to my body with his catcalls. The guy old enough to be my dad was doing the same thing, and arguably more shamefully. Both should have known better, but the old guy might have a daughter. I wonder how he'd feel if the same happened to her? Actually, I wonder how either would feel if some jackass like them did the same to their sisters, daughters, wives, girlfriends.
Getting a bit off topic, I also wonder if either of these men thought about what I might be feeling (obviously not). How was I to know they weren't going to attack me, or try to rape me? Will they ever know how it feels to be broken down to a set of tits, an ass and a vagina (never a vulva)? How would they feel knowing they're being paralleled to rapists in my mind, perpetuating a culture of sexual violence for women? I'm thinking neither of them would really give a shit.
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