My Address to LGBTQ Youth

  I'm not old yet, so I remember high school and what it was like going through it as an out bisexual girl. I remember being called a slut, a dyke, greedy, desperate, liar, bitch.... all sorts of things. I was told the standard lies about going to hell, being unnatural, only doing it for male attention (because girls only kiss girls for guys' benefit), and being too young to have a sexuality, much less one outside the hetero-norm. It was hard and at times I did think about killing myself. I cut myself, demeaned myself, and gave those idiots exactly what they wanted. It was difficult to keep my head above water at the best of times. But to go with that awesome campaign making a presence, it got better (http://www.itgetsbetter.org/). I found friends who fought for me as fiercely as I should have fought for myself. I educated myself about what it meant to be queer, and about the struggles of other people.

  The best thing I ever did was get the hell out of there and go to college. I found people as passionate as I am, who gave a damn (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-E7fykpeGc) and let everyone know it. I learned about the Stonewall riots, about transpeople and hate crimes, and joined LGBTQ clubs and attended seminars. I armed myself with knowledge, and it empowered me. I majored in Creative Writing because it showed me how to broadcast my voice, and I minored in Women's Studies because it gave me real herstory and told me the truth about racial issues, human sexuality in all its flavors, and humankind in every gender, color, and category.

  You will find opposition as often as you will find support. There are stupid people everywhere, and scared ones who have a hard time respecting and recognizing anything different. You will encounter corrupt social infrastructures that hold you back and deny you your basic human rights and the respect you deserve. But keep this in mind- you do deserve respect. As a feminist and a queer, I have learned to carve out my space where none exists for me. Don't be afraid to be loud and get creative. You will be called names, you will experience violence, and you have the strength to rise above all of it.

  Most of all, know you are NOT alone. I'm here, and I care. I care about YOU, and I care about my neighbors all over this country and this world. I will be your shoulder and your rock, I will beat ass for you and shout to the highest levels of government. My love is big enough for anyone and everyone. I'm here, I'm queer, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you, and so are millions of people around the world. Remember this: you matter and you can make your place in this world. You have the power to stand up for yourself and for others. Use it. 

An Introductory Rant

I’m pissed off.  Maybe it’s the freezer-burned dinner I have to eat because I can’t afford groceries this week-again.  Maybe it’s the insane amount of work my online instructor thinks I can churn out in two days, or maybe it’s neither of those and the simple fact is I’m pissed off because I’m a woman living in the U.S.. 

I’m sick of living in a country where men don’t think women deserve to be treated with respect and dignity like they do.  I’m so shit-pissed enraged that this country’s (almost totally white-male-heterosexual-Christian) government thinks it’s ok to give women second-class status and laugh down any logical angry responses to this and replace it with their irrational misogynistic bullshit.  I’m pissed that the Supreme Court refused to give the millions of women suing Wal-Mart a class action lawsuit because they were too many of them.  I hate that the Supreme Court gave up the opportunity to give a desperately needed statement about women’s worth, and set us back a century or so.

I’m so exhausted with men’s attitudes towards women I want to vomit.  I’m done with entitled men acting like something their mothers shit out their assholes instead of split their vaginas wide open and labored to gift with life.  I’m spitting fire at those jerk-offs who think it’s ok to tell me what I can do with my body, what decisions I’m allowed to make, where I can work, who I can fuck, what I can say and still be a ‘good woman’.  I’m sick of seeing my friends being denied recognition of their marriages and who they want to fuck.

I hate that it’s a fact that I won’t make as much as a man and it’s not because of my work ethic or his.  I hate that I can’t be taken seriously because I have a hole instead of a pole, that I have to work twice as hard to get the same spoils.  I hate that I have to prove myself because I own- yes, I OWN- a vulva and that great stuff attached.

I hate that I dislike most men I meet, and that I’m quickly losing faith that men can be trusted companions and that this makes me a sexist but I can’t change that simple fact- most men I meet don’t give me respect but expectations. And I’m mostly sick at those expectations which say I have to look pretty and act sexy but be careful not to be a slut, that I have to take care of my man and don’t nag him when he makes me his housemaid, that I have to both want and love kids and that I have to make less than my husband, that I must marry or be seen as a lonely, bitchy spinster the rest of my life, that I can’t fight for equal rights for women and homos and be seen as anything but a radical, a naïve bleeding-heart liberal who wants to castrate men and kill God and make it mandatory that sanitary napkins rest beside toilet paper in public bathrooms (wouldn’t that be nice?).

I can’t stand that a woman can’t walk down the street or go out at night or open the door without being sexually harassed.  It makes me numb that when a woman is raped she’s too ashamed to report it, and that the U.S. does this on purpose.  It makes me scream that when a woman is raped and she asks for justice, she gets everything but- blame, shame, criticism, threats, insults, invasion, speculation- and that this great country victim-blames her out of the courtrooms.

It’s disgusting that there’s even a need for the term ‘rape-apologist’.

I hate that I can’t talk about my vagina or my clit or my menstruation without it being ‘gross’ and inappropriate, that Georgia O’Keefe is considered lewd but the Washington Monument is an important piece of historical and patriotic heritage. 

It pisses me off that FOX is still considered a source for reliable news.

But what really gets to me is that it’s still women shouldering the most burden for our rights, that it’s us who march in the streets and make political art and sign petitions and gather organizations together to stand up for us.  It’s sickening the amount of politicians who don’t represent the women of their constituencies, the people in the government who don’t represent anyone at all but their bigoted, sexist, elitist Catholic agendas.  It’s disgusting that when Clinton and Obama were running for presidential candidacy, there were anti-woman jokes in the mainstream media but not anti-black (that would be crossing the line).

I’m pissed that I got this pissed at all, but it’s a great reminder that my anger is my strength.  Because when all this stops making me angry is when I should be worried.